Remember:
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
11/24/2006
They are among us!!!
Here is an email that I recieved from a friend...really funny! I know of a few of these people! If you know anyone like this please relate the story in the comments section (hint, hint).
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it.
Caution... They Walk Among Us!
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted...."Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and said... "where???"
They Walk Among Us!!
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she>shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."
They Walk Among Us!!
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I>told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific".
They Walk Among Us!!
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but, "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."
They Walk Among Us!!!!
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk...
They Walk Among Us!!!!!
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount....(maybe I should have bought 10 cases)
They Walk Among Us!!!!!!
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"
They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!!
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."
Yep, they walk among us AND they reproduce!!!!
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it.
Caution... They Walk Among Us!
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted...."Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and said... "where???"
They Walk Among Us!!
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she>shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."
They Walk Among Us!!
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I>told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific".
They Walk Among Us!!
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but, "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."
They Walk Among Us!!!!
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk...
They Walk Among Us!!!!!
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount....(maybe I should have bought 10 cases)
They Walk Among Us!!!!!!
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"
They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!!
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."
Yep, they walk among us AND they reproduce!!!!
11/23/2006
The Story of Maxie
This is a story a story of heroism. I swear my son and I would probably wouldn’t be alive today if it wasn’t for my cat Maxie. In October, 2000, my husband at the time had left the house to go to work in the early morning hours. He never locked the door behind him and I was upstairs asleep with my son down the hall. I thought I heard a noise downstairs but pegged it off to the neighbors next door. I dosed back off. Then suddenly Maxie jumps on my stomach. Actually it felt as though he jumped onto my dresser and then on to me because it really hurt. No my cat has never done this to me before and I was shocked, until I heard footsteps on the stairs. I know that they weren’t my husbands because Maxie’s ears were back and he was growling! I yelled out “Who’s there!” I got no answer, all I heard was some more slow footsteps up the stairs. I froze in absolute fright. Then I thought of my son, he was in the bedroom at the top of the stairs. I had to get to him before who ever was in my house did! With sheer courage and strength I leaped out of the bed and barreled to the top of the stairs. I was going to cut off the intruder and defend my son at all costs. But unknown to me Maxie had followed me and he reached the stairs before me. He stood there hissing and growling (all teeth and nails lol). When I got to the stairs there before me was a man. I was so scared for a moment, then I took a page from Maxie’s book and I filled with anger and rage. I confronted the man about being in my house (not in so many nice words), and told him to get the F**k out of my house. I don’t really remember what he said. All I remember was backing him down the stairs one by one. All the time never getting too close to him (didn’t want him to be close enough to grab me). And the whole time Maxie was beside me backing him down and eventually out of my house. Before he walked out of the house he said “oh and by the way I took your phone off the hook.” I got the doors slammed and locked behind him. Returned the phone to the hook. By that time he was trying to get back in, I was in tears and trying to look up the number for the cops (lol I looked under C for cops, that is how well my brain was working). I said screw it and dialed 911. Low and behold they didn’t show up because they thought it was a domestic dispute. It took my Dad calling from Dodge to get them to come to my aid. By then it was too late and the man had left the area. But if it wasn’t for my Maxie I would have still been asleep when that man did what ever it is that he was going to do. And if it wasn’t for him hissing and helping me get the man out….well I don’t want to think what could have happened. But I do know that Maxie is my hero. And regardless what he does to me when he is mad, I don’t think I could ever get rid of him.
And that is the story of Maxie!
And that is the story of Maxie!
11/02/2006
WTF Week!
Wow, what a busy week I had. For the last week I have been running around with my head cut off. It all started Friday last week. The first day of the haunt! The kids and I arrived with my mom at about 5 to set up the monsters that she had created. Note to self: never wear a floor length too large dress while trying to traverse stairs carrying dummies. Got all that done and the night began. Wow it sure was busy that night.
Saturday: Kids were crabby today because of all the scaring that they did the night before. Deal with them by separating them for 2 hours. Have to go back to the haunt again. This time I had an Uncle and Aunt come down from Devon, Alberta. (Which means that I had to clean my house.)
Sunday: Last day of the haunt, mom also decided to redo the court room in a different way to scare people. Not too bad except we lost track of time and before we knew it it was time to go. Also got the kids to bed late that night.
Monday: Take down the basement portion of the haunt. During the day of course because that night we had rehearsal for the play. (The one that I am acting in lol)
Tuesday: HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!! Was a little on the ill side today. Think it has to do with burning the candle at both ends for so long. Spent some time in bed trying to get warm and dealing with the unending phone calls from people asking me why I was home today. Then drag my butt out to drive the kids around for trick or treating.
Wednesday: Take down of the court room decorations. We had help from Wilma and Badge. I am so sick of those horrible stairs in that building. I lost count how many times I had to go up them. So glad that is the last time that I will see the inside of that building. It was a bittersweet farewell.
Thursday: Work, Work, Work. Have to catch up on work. If only the aluminum and vinyl would come in so that I can finish the many orders that have piled up. Then off to play practice tonight. It is also dress rehearsal and I have yet to get my outfit ready for tonight. It is just like me to leave it to the last minute. LOL.
Friday: This is my one and only night off! Think I may spend it vegged out in front of the TV. I don’t even think I will answer the door or the phone….unless of course it is some hot guy wanting to go out! LOL yeah like that is going to happen!
Saturday: PERFORMANCE NIGHT!!! Wonder if I will get stage fright? So far I am not.
Well that is all that is happening in my life at the moment. Damn I am exhausted lol.
Saturday: Kids were crabby today because of all the scaring that they did the night before. Deal with them by separating them for 2 hours. Have to go back to the haunt again. This time I had an Uncle and Aunt come down from Devon, Alberta. (Which means that I had to clean my house.)
Sunday: Last day of the haunt, mom also decided to redo the court room in a different way to scare people. Not too bad except we lost track of time and before we knew it it was time to go. Also got the kids to bed late that night.
Monday: Take down the basement portion of the haunt. During the day of course because that night we had rehearsal for the play. (The one that I am acting in lol)
Tuesday: HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!! Was a little on the ill side today. Think it has to do with burning the candle at both ends for so long. Spent some time in bed trying to get warm and dealing with the unending phone calls from people asking me why I was home today. Then drag my butt out to drive the kids around for trick or treating.
Wednesday: Take down of the court room decorations. We had help from Wilma and Badge. I am so sick of those horrible stairs in that building. I lost count how many times I had to go up them. So glad that is the last time that I will see the inside of that building. It was a bittersweet farewell.
Thursday: Work, Work, Work. Have to catch up on work. If only the aluminum and vinyl would come in so that I can finish the many orders that have piled up. Then off to play practice tonight. It is also dress rehearsal and I have yet to get my outfit ready for tonight. It is just like me to leave it to the last minute. LOL.
Friday: This is my one and only night off! Think I may spend it vegged out in front of the TV. I don’t even think I will answer the door or the phone….unless of course it is some hot guy wanting to go out! LOL yeah like that is going to happen!
Saturday: PERFORMANCE NIGHT!!! Wonder if I will get stage fright? So far I am not.
Well that is all that is happening in my life at the moment. Damn I am exhausted lol.
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